“Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.” Titus 2:3-5
The life of a mother can be a lonely place even as it is filled with people. Imagine heading into a work environment and not knowing what is expected of you. Imagine at this same job being sat at your desk and being told to “figure it out”. You are expected to do your job well, but no one will tell you what the job requirements are or how you will be judged. That’s how I often view my job as a mother. One day you are happily living your life worried mostly about yourself (and possibly your husband), and the next day you have a new life that is completely dependent on you. No one tells you how to do this job, but you are expected to know everything. There is no manual on what you should do to ensure that you do your job effectively. However, if you fail at this job, you will feel the effects of your failure for your entire lives. That’s a heavy burden and a burden God did not intend for us to carry alone.
Throughout Scripture God has provided practical instructions on how to fulfill our God-given calling to be a wife and mother. I’ve already discussed the Proverbs 31 mandate, but there are many other places in the Word that God discusses how to live. Proverbs 22:6 says “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Proverbs 12:4 says, “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is decay in his bones.” These verses are strong indications of the importance of being a godly woman, but it’s hard to see how this looks in real life. God’s word has everything we need to know about life but it sometimes does not seem like it’s enough. It’s hard to take a verse like Proverbs 22:6 and know what it looks like when you have eternal, yet sinful, souls staring back at you.
God knew we would need something else to become all we were intended to be, and that is why He told us that we need each other. We cannot do it all alone, and we should not. It is when we feel lonely and isolated that Satan has a foothold to attack and begins to unravel us. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 testifies to the power of friendship. Verse 12 says, “ Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so does one man sharpen another.” Clearly God knows the power of friendship!
So back to Titus 2, we need each other – we need peers that are going through the same struggles as we are to get through the day. We need older, more mature women who have already “been there, done that”, to give us a glimpse of the bigger picture. One of the best things I have done to become a better wife and mother has been to seek out a support system. After attending Fabulous 2013, I was convicted of my need for deep friendships with women.
I sought out a dear college friend, and we have become “iron” to each other. It has been amazing to see how God has brought us together at the right time. We give each other support and encouragement. We pray for each other and can speak God’s truth to each other when it feels like God is silent. We don’t live close to each other but through email we communicate every day throughout the week. We also talk on the phone once a week. I think she would agree with me when I say that these last six months have provided much needed encouragement as we both navigate the world of little people. She has been instrumental in helping me work through issues that God has brought into my heart and mind. So find a good friend, and be a good friend, one that is going through the same season of life that you are. You won’t regret it.
Then there is the older woman. I don’t know how many times I’ve read God’s word and been challenged to teach your children, discipline your children, and be a wife of noble character but struggle at what that looks like in real life. There are many issues from determining the number of children God is calling me to have, to what to do about my “outside job”, to what it means to show respect to my husband, that all need the wisdom and perspective of someone who has already experienced and made it through these issues. Titus 2 states that, “older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and be submissive to their husbands”. After struggling and praying over some of these issues, I felt like God was calling me to find a mentor. Immediately a woman from my childhood came to mind. This woman helped teach me God’s word from the time I was a little girl, and I am forever grateful for her influence on my life. I have just begun this mentoring relationship with her, and I am excited to see how God uses this relationship to strengthen my faith and also work though some difficult issues. If you are one of those younger women Paul talks about, find an older woman to help you sort out life’s bigger issues. If you are one of those older women, you have so much to give us younger women, and we need your help. Your experience can and will help us grow to love God, our husbands, and our children.
So ladies, remember God did not intend for us to do life alone. We need godly peers and mentors. We need friends that “stick closer than a brother” and those with greater knowledge than we have to train us. In fulfilling the call of Titus 2, God will ultimately be honored. Our lives as Christian women should look so different to the world that people are drawn to us. We should look weird, but in a good way. Nothing speaks more to the power of Christ’s redemption as a changed and holy life. The life of a wife and mother that willingly sacrifices her personal desires and needs for the good of her family is our high and noble calling. In doing this we fulfill the calling God has placed on our lives.
*Check out Elizabeth George’s book A Woman’s High Calling for more practical instruction on what being a Christian woman should look like. I’ve found it so helpful in working though what it means to be God’s woman.
Julie Mabus has been married to husband Mark for 6 years and is a mom to Camille (2 1/2) and Ezra (9 months). She attends MOMentum at our newest morning meeting in Whitehouse. Julie is mostly a stay at home mom but works very part time as an occupational therapist. Julie enjoys gardening, canning, cooking, reading and art in general.
CedarCreek MOMentum exists to connect mothers in all seasons by encouraging and supporting them, while guiding their hearts toward Christ. Subscribe to our blog and never miss another post!